A rustle. The world is warm and muted, but I can make out soft, distant sensations. Suddenly the warmth increases, settles comfortably upon me. I squirm closer, keening soundlessly. I have no sense of sight yet, but somehow I can tell - this is my mother.
I will remain sightless like this for ten days. My “charcoal gray natal fur” [1] will remain with me for about a month, at which point I will slowly develop my “sandy-colored coat that matches the sandy loam of the den” [2]; from very early on, I will be good at camouflaging myself. Around the same time, my teeth will form - “slender, dagger-like” [3] protrusions in my mouth that will be in my toolkit for survival someday soon - we only nurse for five weeks. My fellow kits and I will still remain inside our den for three to four months after, coddled and fed by our parents. This is what my childhood will be, full of nurture and care. I lounge outside the den, hunger grumbling through me, awaiting my father's return. A branch shakes low to the ground - he's back with a meal. I streak over to him as fast as my limbs can take me and, reaching him first, nuzzle up to him and beg. He rewards me with my portion, and I take it far away from my siblings. I tear in.
At five months, I will lose my tan coloring and begin to take on my rich “pumpkin-colored coat,” accentuated by my “black velvety ears” and the “magnificent brush of a tail” [4] with the shockingly white tip that has been a mark on my body since birth. I will begin to look like my name would suggest, and my fellow kits and I begin to grow curious and restless. At six months, I hunt.
The stages of life.
My teeth are not the only weapon in my arsenal; I have experience under my belt as well. I have been fighting with my fellow kits since we were less than a month old, and my six-month-old self is ready to become a predator. My hearing may well be the most useful skill of mine - although I am still learning under my parents now, in the near future I will be alone.
I stumble over myself as I venture away from my home. When I sink my claws into the ground, it gives way and dry, crumbly soil covers my paws. I shake it away and begin my hunt, stalking away from my family into the trees nearby. Finding a secluded meadow, I stop and sink flat to the ground and listen. I can "locate sounds to within inches of their actual location," [5] and I put that to good use. I am sensitive to low-range sounds; the sudden rustling of twigs and leaves in a bush flows over me and I strike. When I am satisfied with what I have eaten, I drag the squirrel away. I push it into a little hollow and cover it up with leaves - I will be back.
...
I return to myself.
What is it that drew me to the fox? When I was searching for my spirit animal, a few had come to mind already. Perhaps a penguin, I thought to myself, not because I had any real reason to do so but because it is what my friends had nicknamed me. Maybe an octopus? I went in with an open mind and I'm not sure what I expected to find.
Perhaps I'm indecisive. When the guided imagery meditation instructed us to picture an open area after opening the door from the white space, I found myself on a hill leading downwards. After I went down the hill, I found myself in a grassy meadows leading into a forest and following that same path, I went through the trees. After heading further into the trees I found myself in front of an icy lake, and I recognized the area. There's a waterfall in southern Oklahoma named Turner Falls, and I've visited with my family and some friends. That's where I found my spirit animal - where I found myself.
Perhaps one of the reasons that I am a red fox is because I prefer having a lot of options, like the diverse environments I pictured for myself in my head. Living in a diverse area is good for a red fox - they often live in edge environments where a lot of different landscapes meet. The convergence of those different landscapes allow it a lot of variety and freedom in how it can live its life, especially in terms of diet. At first, reading about the varied diet of red foxes made me wonder how compatible I actually was; a typical red fox's diet consists of small game such as rabbits and squirrels, with the occasional bird if they can catch it. That is supplemented by fruits, berries, and nuts that they gather, as well as whatever food they can scavenge from their surrounding environment. As I myself am vegetarian, it was admittedly a little strange to think of my alter-self subsisting on such a diet, until I read accounts of how red foxes have been observed to go entire seasons living off of nothing but their gathered food from the foliage. That more than anything to me emphasized how adaptable they are - no matter the environment, no matter the surroundings, red foxes make do with what they can.
Foxes caching food.
In addition to making sure they have variety in their diet, red foxes are very, very good at providing for the future. Whenever they scavenge or gather or hunt food, they always keep the extras in food caches; they are never unprepared. When they don't have food or if they are unable to hunt they will be able to manage for themselves. When I look at myself and compare me to the red fox, I pale in comparison - as I've told people repeatedly, I don't really know what I'm doing; I plan my life a couple of days in advance. I have some of the big picture painted in my mind and I sort of know what I want to do with myself (somehow go into computer science and language), but I don't necessarily have the steps to achieve that future for myself planned out.
Foxes caching food.
In addition to making sure they have variety in their diet, red foxes are very, very good at providing for the future. Whenever they scavenge or gather or hunt food, they always keep the extras in food caches; they are never unprepared. When they don't have food or if they are unable to hunt they will be able to manage for themselves. When I look at myself and compare me to the red fox, I pale in comparison - as I've told people repeatedly, I don't really know what I'm doing; I plan my life a couple of days in advance. I have some of the big picture painted in my mind and I sort of know what I want to do with myself (somehow go into computer science and language), but I don't necessarily have the steps to achieve that future for myself planned out.
Apart from being able to look to the future, red foxes are very adaptable creatures. They scavenge when they can and forage when necessary, and they are very able to hunt and take care of themselves. Red foxes are good with anything - they go with the flow, and I would like to think of myself in a similar light. When I came to college, I thought I would have a hard time adjusting, but I'm managing decently well (or so I'd like to think). This sort of self-sufficiency leads to foxes usually carrying out their business alone (with the possible exception of a mate), and that is one of my biggest personal goals. Perhaps it's because I'm an only child, but I've both benefited and not benefited in this scope because of that; while I didn't have any siblings to rely upon, I had the sole attention of my parents. In matters of self-dependency, the red fox has a lot to teach me in terms of getting better. Currently where I am in my life, there is a certain amount of dependency that I can't escape from (nor do I want to); I'm not even eighteen yet, so I am legally not at adult. The significant change of breaking apart from my parents and really living for myself is one that I'm still trying to do justice to, and I have good and bad days. My challenge for myself is to make the good outnumber the bad, and I'm doing my best.
Most of all, there was one description that stood out to me the most: the red fox is "an animal that seems to live intensely, if not for long."[6] What I would most like to learn from my spirit animal is how to live with that intensity, that vibrancy and passion in life. Being adaptable, organized, and self-sufficient are certainly very useful traits that I would like to incorporate into myself for life, but if that very life can't be enjoyed, then what's the purpose of living? I know this isn't an entirely foreign concept to me because there are certainly issues that I have strong opinions about and things that make me feel intensely, but I would like to be able to draw that sort of purpose and source of passion from myself. For all I know, this may be my only chance - I'd like to enjoy it the best that I can.
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Word count (without quotations): 1456
Word count (with quotations): 1478
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Image credits:
Baby kit: http://www.seacrestwolfpreserve.org/cpg/displayimage.php?album=6&pos=9
Two months: http://www.kewlwallpapers.com/wallpaper/Red-Fox-Kit-Indiana/
Two months: http://www.kewlwallpapers.com/wallpaper/Red-Fox-Kit-Indiana/
Six months: http://www.gunflint-trail.com/blog/2011/05/21/goo-goo-gah-gah/red-fox-kit-in-meadow-pictures/
Foxes caching food: http://franzfoto.net/cpg/displayimage.php?album=2&pos=177
Red fox at the end: http://www.wildlifeonline.me.uk/questions_answers_foxes.html
Foxes caching food: http://franzfoto.net/cpg/displayimage.php?album=2&pos=177
Red fox at the end: http://www.wildlifeonline.me.uk/questions_answers_foxes.html
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[1] Henry, J. David. Red Fox: The Catlike Canine. Washington, D.C.: Smithsonian Institution, 1986. Print.
[2] Lloyd, H. G. 1981. The Red Fox. B. T. Batsford, Ltd. London.
[3] Nowak, R. M. 1991. Walker's Mammals of the World. The Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore, MD.
[4] MacDonald, D., J. Reynolds. 2005. "Red fox (Vulpes vulpes)" (Online). IUCN Canid Specialist Group.
[5] Fox, D. 2007. "Vulpes vulpes" (On-line), Animal Diversity Web. Accessed September 27, 2013 at http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/accounts/Vulpes_vulpes/
[6] Henry, J. David. Red Fox: The Catlike Canine. Washington, D.C.: Smithsonian Institution, 1986. Print.
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Note: despite the fact that I'm also a computer science major, I'm guilty of a lot of technical goofs. This blog was set to 'private viewing' earlier (it's fixed now, of course), but if you have the time, it would be great if you could check out some of the older entries (especially the one about emotional intelligence).
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Note: despite the fact that I'm also a computer science major, I'm guilty of a lot of technical goofs. This blog was set to 'private viewing' earlier (it's fixed now, of course), but if you have the time, it would be great if you could check out some of the older entries (especially the one about emotional intelligence).
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